Wednesday, January 6, 2010

the fire side chat

   There really is nothing quite so disappointing as your own child not succeeding at everything you tell    them they must do, just ask any parent (for best results ask parents other than your own, or have a baby, you'll see), but even more of a shame is the disappointment one feels for all of the children and parents that don't understand us or our genius progeny.  Because we concerned ourselves with creating material with strong intuitive content, our creative pieces were something we felt might stand for themselves, evidently we were wrong. We at sospunwespunwest would like to point out that there is very little difference between those who get our jokes and commentary, and those who don't.  
    Before I go further into this let me state, there ARE differences.  Those of you that are scared of being too similar to others, especially those who don't want to resemble in any way someone who doesn't get the joke, we understand your trepidation at this proposal.  We know what the differences are, and how to      spot them, do not worry you stand little chance of being mistaken for one of those hideous freaks.  
     And to those people who are proudly not getting the jokes, your days are numbered, even if we have to spell out these jokes and commentaries (scathing social and anthropological commentaries!), use   pictures and drawings, and come to your house for tutoring sessions, you will either get the joke or bear  the tattoo punishment, where we emblazon the hands of Dean Stockwell,  the face of Whoopi Goldberg,  AND the plastic surgery scars of every hollywood actress over fifty living today ( a number in excess of   3000 at any time since 1996) onto your body in exactly those places.  I hope this is clear, it has been  posted, consider yourselves warned.   
      To be perfectly honest, the differences are outweighed by the similarities, both types of people are  capable of procreation, both are capable of building towns, cities, empires, both are capable of taking up  arms, forming armies, both are entirely able to take on delusional, ignorant and bigoted mindframes, both are driven by primal instincts, both are capable of losing all moral compass in the heat of battle's  delicious song (attempting in vain to slake the thirst for blood and tissue alike on their tender lips by rending all living things in their vicinity with joy), both are capable of committing heinous acts of sexual  depravity and down-right evil in the name of whatever god is popular at the time.  And we at  sospunwespunwest we believe this should be a celebrated aspect of life among humans.  We propose a  new motto for the human race, one of the following should suffice. 
                                     JUST BECAUSE WE CAN, THAT'S WHY.  
                             WE CAN BITE OFF MORE THAN WE CAN CHEW!   
    By doing this we foresee a bridge being made between the moronic, and the chosen people, a way in  which genocide will be seen, on one hand, as an unnecessary and expensive way to solve problems, and also an inevitable, hilarious and ingenious way to spend your/our time on earth.  At the very least a war  with one another (the get it's and the don't get it's) would bind us in blood and spirit, enemy and friendly  alike.  Sospunwespunwest's humor is an attempt to seperate out these differences, and start this war.   
     That being said there is a faction of the group of you who DO get the joke, that are unaware or   incapable of seeing the truth of the joke in your own world, at work today.  Although this is still a  satisfactory level to attain, and indeed, you may choose to grow old and die with this distinction, there is  more, for those of you who want it, glory is there to be attained... stretch yourself, and enjoy stretching  others, rattle the cages of those around you, so that they will in turn rattle your cage.  Try to see the jokes in your own life, the seemingly drug induced rants that go off in your head hourly, the borderline  Tourette's physical control issues you overcome everyday just to get to work and home without  accidentally falling and raping and killing the closest office machine or breakroom amenity in sight.  We  understand this aspect of being all too well, please allow us to speak to your inner, smarter, whacked out  drug fiend.  This will be the first step in our campaign to enlighten, be ready for many more,  ready  yourself for battle with potentially everyone and... watch yur step.  

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